In the summer of 1861, Mark Twain went to war as a soldier for the Confederacy, riding a small yellow mule carrying a valise, a carpetbag, two gray blankets, a homemade quilt, a squirrel rifle, 20 yards of rope, a frying pan and, perhaps most importantly of all, an umbrella. He lasted two weeks. His account of that fortnight, "The Private History of a Campaign That Failed," can be read below.